Where we put our attention—what thoughts we allow to occupy our mind—is perhaps the most important decision we make on a daily basis. Our thoughts drive our feelings and actions, so what we spend time thinking about impacts our day-to-day well-being.
For example, when we center our thoughts on money and finance, we tend to view the world in financial terms. We see our work more transactionally, our creative ideas focus on money (and presumably, how to get more of it), and our worries tend to relate to money (and presumably, the fear of losing it). In contrast, when we center our attention on friends and family, on feeling loved and connected to those around us, the questions we ask are different: How can I support those I care about? When will we see each other again? What fun activities can we do together? The shift in focus dramatically alters the emotional landscape we experience every day. When we turn our attention to politics, we tend to fall into patterns of tribalism and anger. When we notice our attention stuck on something that does not serve us well, our job becomes re-directing our attention.
While we all get to choose where to direct our attention, it is also true that everyone wants a piece of it. Attention is the most valuable commodity we own, and almost everything in our lives competes for it. Pay attention to one child, and watch the other child pull out all the stops to catch your eye. It’s not just our family—our work wants our attention, our phones want our attention, our hobbies and garden want our attention. Everywhere we go, something or someone is tugging at us, fighting for our focus.
If the economy of the 20th century ran on oil, the economy of the 21st century runs on attention. If you can command attention, you can make money. Social media, streaming platforms, sports, and even news outlets earn money by holding our attention as long as possible. We are faced with an endless stream of stimuli designed to keep us engaged, and to make us feel incomplete if we try to turn away.
Here’s a thought exercise: let’s assume you value your time at $25/hour. And let’s further assume that you spend less than the average American’s 2 hours and 14 minutes per day– call it 2 hours even (I’m looking at you TikTok, Instagram, the News, and Youtube). Let’s also assume you spend less than the average American’s 3 hours per day on streaming services (yes, I’m sure there is overlap in those numbers). Let’s call it 4 hours total, and let’s assume that you would want to spend 90 minutes per total– call it 2.5 hours excess time. That works out to 75 hours/month; if we value that time at $25/hour, that’s $1,875. This is the attention economy, and its big business.
It’s not just you though. More than 65% of Americans don’t like the amount of time they spend on social media. Put another way: collectively, we spend too much time having our attention pulled away from what is important, and we know it.
If this is true for you and those around you, what can you actually do about it? One powerful tool to help us take back control is to work to become more aware of where our attention is at any one moment. Another name for observing our mind, and what it is focused on? Meditation. Meditation is just practicing noticing where our attention is placed, observing it without judgment, and learning to redirect it intentionally. It's a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned through practice. Another option, when we find our thoughts returning to a difficult place, over and over again, is to intentionally redirect our attention. One last idea– action eats anxiety. When we get stuck in our thoughts, getting back into our body– through exercise, movement, and action– might be a way out.
When we fixate on a thought, person, or situation that we don’t like and allow ourselves to ruminate on it, we’re choosing to give it power over us. By obsessing on what bothers us, we let it occupy precious mental space and, in effect, give it control over our mood and well-being. The more we dwell on it, the more it seeps into our day, shaping how we feel and act. But we can intentionally redirect our attention to something more positive or productive, we take that power back. Shifting our focus to thoughts and activities that bring us joy, growth, or peace allows us to reclaim our happiness and puts us back in charge of our own emotional state. This is not the same as ignoring difficult topics; instead, it's an observation that we have agency when it comes to thoughts. It is ironic: when we devote excess attention to things or people we dislike, we are in fact giving them more power over us. Can’t stand politics, or the Dodgers, or that guy at work? Why would we choose to give it more attention?
Our attention is the gateway to our well-being. Our happiness, productivity, and relationships are directly shaped by where we place our mental energy. If we can build the habit of carefully choosing what thoughts to entertain and which distractions to ignore, we cultivate a mental space that is healthy, resilient, and profoundly our own. In a world that profits from our distraction, taking ownership of our attention is an act of empowerment, a commitment to creating a life where we focus on what matters.
Doc
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